Archive for the 'ponderings' Category

Enough

Published at February 6, 2008 in ponderings. 2 Comments

Thanks for your fine comment-based updates on the weather down below. Does anyone know if Australia has frizzled up like a giant roo pattie yet? I think i can smell it sometimes, when the wind is blowing south-westerly.

The daylight lasted a little longer today – at high latitudes like this, the slightest tilt in the earths alignment can have a significant effect on the angle of the dangle, which is scientific jargon for how the obliquity of the ecliptic affects the zenith angle zeta of the sun. Needless to say, i’m looking forward to declination reaching + 23° 26’on June 20 23:59 UT. I’m not giving it too much thought, to be honest. It’s mildly theraputic to lament the never-ending dull skies, but to be fair, the winter here has been unseasonably dry. Vancouver is supposed to recieve three time as much rain as Victoria, but when we were over there for the weekend, I am certain that it only rained once, when we were sleeping. We got to sleep indoors, lucky for us. The poverty in that city is just mind-blowing; just check out East Hastings next time you’re over. Riding the bus along there is a little like taking a spin through HellWorldâ„¢ in Disneyland.

Anyway, enough. Enough of this morose rambling about the weather. No more invective on the freaky breatheable-fabric festooned locals and the glaring contradictions of our generous host nation. We all have our problems, aye. New Zealand’s not exactly paradise … is it? Actually, I think it might be, but I digress. I promise not to complain about anything, ever again. Well, at least I’ll give it a try. Oh yeah, that reminds me… these guys don’t take Easter monday off – you know, the day of the resurrection. Not that i disapprove – there are probably thousands of religious festivals i don’t celebrate/comiserate/sleep in on, like the Zorastrian festival on Noruz day, Rapithaven, when the Yazata of Noon is believed to re-emerge from the earth in order that life may re-surge with the advent of Spring – I’m just filling you in on a detail; a factoid, if you will. There may be a few more of those to come …

Remember, that you can subscribe to this blimin thing, so Lala doesn’t have to email you all when the next entry makes it up :)

Bye for now.

Yoga pants and spittle

Published at January 16, 2008 in ponderings. 6 Comments

Victoria isn’t quite living up to our expectations. Actually, to be fair, let’s say, “life” in victoria isn’t quite living up to our expectations, though whether they were reasonable expectations, is another matter. I could be philosphical, and yarn about how we have made some good freinds, both have jobs, have managed to save some money and experience some super-natural BC goodness, and have recieved an unhealthy dose of exceptional hospitality, but i really feel like slagging the place off right now, so please humour me. If i could sum up the last three months in a word, i’d pick “grey”. If i had an extra few words (it’s probably a good idea to keep the word limit around there) i’d say “Grey, normal … and yoga pants”.

I don’t have problem with Yoga gear; it’s essential for your asanas, but Yoga Pants – they’re everywhere, and no description of this city would be complete without mentioning their overwhelming prevalence. Even the meth addicts wear them. I think Levis might have brought out a line of Yoga slacks especially for the Victorian market.

My main gripe with this place however, is the phlegm. If you think certain ethnic groups in New Zealand have an unsociable propensity to clear their congested oesophageal tracts in public spaces, you should visit Victoria: you can’t walk 20 paces without sidestepping a mound of necktoplasm. In the time it took me to unlock one of my bicycles (we now have five, in various states of repair) this evening, three passersby nonchalantly discharged their unwanted mouth goo in my general vicinity. The city rings with a chorus of hacking and expectoration that would literally drown out all the Emphysema wards in Beijing.

Coming a close second, my other wrinkle is that the place is very Normal. Don’t get me wrong, there are many, many abnormal people here, some of them in a good way, but it really is a small town, in a big towns boots. And they are boots of an extremely standard design: lace-up, yellowy brown, bulky and a size too big, with a thick rubbery sole and a fat padded thing around the top. Victoria is boring but comfortable. Now imagine some sparkly jewels glued onto the instep: it’s not a pretty ensemble, but the shiny gems provides a distraction. . If you focus on the interesting bits, bedazzled into the nearly dead and newlywed, middle-of-the-road-ness, there is enough to keep you going through the winter months.

Admittedly, my views of the city have been heavily desaturated by the lack of sunshine ( i saw some yesterday, but it was a bit too chilly to stand around in it for long) and we are almost definitely in need of some Vitamin D. Can someone basking in the NZ ‘La Ninia’ summer bottle us up a jar and send it over?

Ooops, I seem to have broken the planet

Published at October 28, 2007 in ponderings. 5 Comments

Hi guys, sorry to be a wet blankey, but it has become apparent to me that we’ve got a bit of a problem. The United Nations have just released their take on state of the worlds natural environment, titled the GEO-4 Report. And here’s the thing: we’re pretty-much fucked. Check out the Beeb’s summary of the report.

And they are not just talking about climate change. Al Gore has got it easy tackling just one problem. There’s a whole bunch of other irksome niggles we should probably take a very close look at, very soon. To say we are dragging the chain is an understatement; we appear to running with it, in the wrong direction, as we chase down the unfortunate earth-child outcast – you know, the one with the bad haircut, home-made jeans and a rainbow cardigan with odd buttons – to steal their lunch and rumble them behind the Metalwork classroom.

Rising sea levels may be the final act in a vicious barrage of ecological dead legs and other dirty school yard tricks; horse bites to biodiversity, a ham-fisted noogie upon the crowns of ancient rainforest giants,  hard wet slaps to tender polar regions, and Chinese burns to the thin arms of the poor: sealed with an almighty and fatal group wedgie delivered to our crumpled, helpless victim. The environment is about to be scragged by a mob of delinquents, without fear of disciplinary action: no crimson-faced Vice Principal will be swooping round the corner with his favourite cane, to administer the deserved thrashings and detentions. The Social studies teacher knows what’s going on, but they are always far too nice to gain respect from hooligans. The UN is that social studies teacher.

Why don’t we pay attention to the UN? Well it might be an image thing. The acronym “UN” lacks authority, in my view; would you take advice from somebody called un? No, you’re much more likely to listen to a person called NATO, or something. The morale in the UN office must be at an all-time low – if anybody needs aid right now, it’s the folks at the United Nations. I think we should send them a hamper or something.

Anyway, sorry to go on about it. I’m sick of constantly hearing about the world too, and just want to get on with living my life. Here’s a nice colourful picture to cheer you up.

Neon sign in Gas Town, Vancouver.

Band names

Published at October 23, 2007 in ponderings. 9 Comments

I am now planning again. It’s been a while and apart from the early starts and having to purchase a weeks supply of collared shirts, it’s been a fairly smooth transition.

I think i know a really effective way for post-modern bands to come up with their names and track titles. All you do get a job somewhere new, preferably a fairly bureaucratic organisation, like where i am working, but anywhere will do, and great ideas just start popping out from everywhere.

Here are my two favorites so far: “Land Use Polygon” and “Data Closet”.

Is everybody moving to Canada?

Published at July 26, 2007 in ponderings. 0 Comments

Wherever i look now i see red/white/maple leaf motifs and it seems i am regularly involved or overhearing conversations about the great icy spruce-scented wilderness. I guess that’s what happens when the focus of your life narrows to a beam; anything caught in the sweep of your headlights, scrutinised briefly, swiftly and subconsciously vetted, then logged as either insignificant or as undeniably meaningful: some kind of cosmically synchronous knot in the space-time continuum.

Things have the habit of just appearing more relevant. There are probably 20 million possums (apple eating tree bears to some)chewing on succulent leaf-tips at or about this moment. In the time it took you to read these lines, seven were struck dumb in the blaze of a speeding automobile, of which two lost their poor furry little lives. Generally the only time i think about opossums is on full-beam, just before i’ve gently adjusted my course to collide with one… then months, even years may pass before my next encounter.

Co-incidences are like possums: there are many more than you could ever imagine clambering about in the treetops of possibility, but it’s only the few who make it to the road that give us cause to contemplate.