Great american, Edgar Mitchell, recently claimed in a radio interview that “little people who look strange to us” have in fact visited this planet. These creatures have apparently contacted humans several times but concerned governments have concealed the truth from us for over half a century. Edgar also confirmed that it wasn’t a high altitude balloon or a secret test vehicle that crashed at Roswell, but a UFO.
So, aliens really do exist, and have been surveilling us for quite a while, dropping by occassionally to meet with Tom Cruise, pull a few terrified loggers from their trucks on lonely backcountry roads, and perhaps to solve one of the great mysteries of the universe – why is American Football so popular? Edgar’s admission has come as a bit of a surprise to be honest, because this fellow is quite the space man: he knows a lot about the moon, and aliens – having been an alien himself on the lunar surface – and he has a doctorate in Aeronautics and Astro Physiotherapy.
There is a chance that Edgar knows something we don’t, yet, but he could also have a kind of moon fever, or be suffering the effects of the Van Halen belt that the world passed through in the 80’s. NASA have reassured us that they are not involved in any sort of cover up about alien life on this planet or anywhere in the universe – which is nice of them. Besides, they’ve got more important things to worry about, like the asteroid Apophis. Astronomers are furiously performing calculations to work out the exact trajectory of this large lonely lump of rock hurtling our way at 10km per second. It’ll be decade or so before they can get a good fix on it, but they know it’ll be in our neighbourood around 2036. Whether Apophis decides it needs some company by then could be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your cult.
The end of the world can be a pretty depressing thing for most folks, so typical humans try not to think about it and just get on with life. And that’s probably how it’ll all unfold … another day at the office, but maybe you’ll leave a little earlier to pick up the groceries on the way home in time to mow the back lawn, so the kids can play cricket while you whip up a salad and put a few snarlers on the BBQ. Then just after you’ve done the dishes, and settled in to watch the Discovery channel, kaboom, splutter.
In many ways such instant apocalypse would be preferable to the drawn-out and almost tedious final act the Human race is comedically scripting for itself and thousands of other species. It’s reassuring to know, that should things come to a sticky end, the earth will survive the human episode much as a capable young supermarket cashier might endure a tenacious rash in the folds of their buttocks, all the while providing exemplary customer service. Which is to say, it’ll bounce back, and may eventually become manager, before it falls in to the sun in a few billion years.
I really do feel sorry for the sea though, and all that floats, glides, squirts, swishes, wriggles and gleams within her. Largely out of sight and out of mind for the landubbering masses, the poor old ocean is kind of like that special corner of the living room in a student flat where the beer cans slowly pile up behind a tattered sofa.
One third of Chinas GHG emmissions basically been offshored by western nations so we can buy cheaper cellphones and inflatable matresses, but the Feds in Canada haven’t really discussed that, and refuse to set real goals around climate change until the Chinese start putting filters on their smokestacks. So, municipal and state governments are picking up the slack. B.C., for instance, will be the first Canadian province to adopt a carbon tax. It’s perhaps a sign of things to come – income tax replaced with a carbon tax?
Many U.S. State goverments are ahead of the curve: take California, who seem to be constantly battling the conservative tide, to push environmental regulations beyond the comfort zone of the Bush administration, and they have to – their state is the 3rd largest, the youngest, smoggiest, sprawlingest state in the U.S. And it’s drying out. Since Oregon, we have only encountered rain (when i say rain, i mean misty droplets) in Santa Cruz – the sky-based moisture first for the seaside town since February. From Redding to Yosemite to the Big Sur, forest fire has scarred the landscape, and forced residents from their air conditioned condos.
Anyway – we’re heading inland now, turning up the heat again after the cool coastal leg, into 40c, through the Mojave, to Las Vegas and then the Grand Canyon and southern Utah, where we will rub shoulders with Gamblers and Gadabouts, Mormons and mountain bikers. Till then, adios,
